We all have different divorce stories. Some of these stories involve betrayal, others find liberation – but most divorce stories are just plain unpleasant.
When it comes time to tell your divorce story – and the time will come over and over in the beginning – it’s important to consider your audience. Here are a few tips for telling your story.
Your co-workers
If you are particularly close with your co-workers outside of work, it might be okay to let them in on your personal life. Otherwise, it’s okay to keep personal matters, well, personal – at least for a while.
When it comes to your supervisor, however, it’s usually a good idea to let him or her in on the facts of the matter. Explain that you are seeking a divorce and it may require some schedule flexibility. Leave out emotional details and remember that using your divorce as a crutch for underperforming could still risk your employment.
Your children
Breaking the news of your divorce to your children is best done with your spouse after preparation and practice. You and your spouse should agree not to speak ill of one another during this discussion or any discussion following. Children idolize their parents and should learn that they can trust both parents as role models – even if the parents don’t belong together.
Explain simply that the marriage isn’t working and that it isn’t your child’s fault. Assure your child that they still belong to a family that loves and supports them. Keep the door open for conversation and questions related to the divorce in the future but explain that the next steps will be unfair and difficult for everyone.
Your social media accounts
We live in an era of sharing, but that doesn’t mean some things can’t stay private. If you want to alert others of your divorce on social media, do so with caution. Badmouthing your ex-spouse on social media can affect the way the court handles your divorce issues – especially child custody and visitation rights.
If you choose to post about your divorce, leave emotionally charged statements out. For example, if your spouse cheated on you, discuss this privately with close friends and family in person.
Your friends and family
Your friends and family – aside from your kids – may become very important sources of support during this difficult time. Trusted friends and family are the only parties who can express your divorce story to without any missed or sugar-coated details.
If you don’t have friends and family to turn to during this difficult time, consider seeking counseling or a divorce support group.
Your lawyer
If you are filing for divorce, it’s best to consult with a few Family Law attorneys with your full story before deciding on the right one. Gaining proper legal counselfrom a lawyer who can listen to and evaluate your needs is the best way to ensure your divorce is settled in the best way possible.
